Theres a reason for that.
Its called stress, or anger, rage, depression, heartache, abandonment, trust issues, lonesome, busy, and rage. But mostly stress.....caused by ALL of the above. Want to hear why? Keep reading, its a fun little story. It involves me, and 2 people you might have heard me mention, Ace and Daphne.
~*~
Here goes, remember those posts where i said i was feeling left out? kept out of the loop? forgotten? Yes, were still talking about my best friend and my roomate here.
"if there your friends, why is this going on?" you say? Well fuck if i know. Ive asked myself that, ive asked them that. Nobody can give me a straight or conclusive answer.
They all seem to think ive been upset and pissy because Ace broke up with me. Yea, im still upset about it. But it doesnt have much to do with this situation, im not the one bringing it into fights or even simple conversation. Its nice to have my nose rubbed into the fact that im not datible. Some friends right? You havent heard the fun part. The reason why i almost threw my laundry basket at my own mother
(were on good terms btw, i was just angry) and the reason why i have been in a constant state of rage since shadowmoor.
My animals have been at his apartment because i havent been able to care for them. No big deal, when that was arranged we still hung out on a regular basis and he let me know how they were doing. Lets fast forward shall we? I have to beg to come over and see them, I have to plead and whine just to know how there doing. God forbid he gives me the time of day to text me back, or return a phone call.
"how is daphne involved?" you say? It honestly doesnt feel like we've lived together since july. She spends all her time with Ace. They arent dating, he isnt interested, hes told her that. Yet shes over there, all day, everyday.
Why even bother paying rent when you arent home, to unpack, clean, help out or do anything that involves living here. You do all that at Ace's house. Hes 22, he can fucking clean up after himself. He knows how to vaccum and do dishes. Ive seen him. You arent his mother, dont treat him like he's 5.
"I seem angry?" You are right, but im beyond angry. Im enraged, i havent ever wanted to hurt something or someone this much before. I have tried to stay out of human contact as much as i possibly can recently. Because do not want to explode on someone. Its happened before, it'll happen again. I know that much.
"But why the rage?" Im tired of being blown off, lied to, denied visiting right to MY animals and excluded from anything Top Hat Exotics related. Yes lied to. By one of the few people i never thought would lie to me, even a white lie. But here we are. Im starting to wonder if our entire 6 month relationship was even real at this point. Because everything else seems to be a sham, why should that be any different?
So HOPEFULLY after tonight i will have My animals in MY apartment. If not he does have an excuse this once, he doesnt have the gas money to get home. Hes stuck up at Western with Daphne, his brother, his new friends and his new girl friend. Poor baby.
